The flu inhabits shibari…
oh for bleeding hell…
Sir and I have been spending some time together. Alot of time actually which is nice. Alot is just… normal time. I made him dinner twice. I even helped him do some laundry. That was an interesting experience. The dryer took for-freaking-ever to dry clothes. I was a little tired but didn’t think anything about it . I have been running on sleep deprived for some time now.
Sir left around eleven. I went to bed. He told me I needed to get some sleep. So .. i did. I woke up at 2 AM And I thought to myself.. hmmm something is NOT right in my body. I felt hot and sweaty and … ewwww like I was going to hurl. So I (being the kind who does NOT like to hurl) tried to go back to sleep. Avoid puking at all costs.
That is when the too much saliva-y feeling started.
“Oh crap!”
I walked in the bathroom debating with myself if I should actually be debating with myself on throwing up. Everyone tells me “quit fighting it and get it over with you will feel better” . I was thinking this when the chick from the exorcist took over my body and began exorcizing my demons. Or the spaghetti I had eaten for dinner. I called in to work I thought I could sleep an hour and go in and have no problem…
Yeah that didn’t happen. I couldn’t even .. lift my head.. walk… anything. I had to crawl just to get back to bed. Did I mention that since i moved back my parents have been out of town. So yes. utterly alone. I get back in bed and remember I still have two anti nausea pills left from my surgery. I crawl to the vanity and take one, then crawl back to bed. The anti nausea pill didn’t stay long. What else… oh yes the leg cramps from hell. Apparently being deydrated … makes you have leg cramps.
My sister came by brought me some gatorade and coca cola. She tried to make me chicken broth.. That ended up with the spaghetti and anti nausea pill. I took the OTHER anti nausea pill . which knocked me out. I never knew that I could sleep an entire day. with .. intermittent wakings up to finish exorcize what demons were left in my body.
I texted Sir later in the day. He was a little perturbed that I didn’t tell him what was going on earlier. I just don’t want to burden him with stupid shit this early on .
It is bad enough that I have discovered that I am … a fretter.
I worry about everything.
I worry that I never say the right thing. Worry that I never measure up. Worry that Sir will get tired of my incessant fretting. Worry about cooking for him so much that I over cook something.
He is nothing but kind.. .always tells me I am fine. that I am a good girl. To STOP worrying … To STOP apologizing. I am trying… to stop.
But I think that when someone has been so neglected… so rejected it is hard to not … worry.
Sir is calm and easy going and I am just … not. I am hoping that this is something I can learn from him.
I have been amazingly calm right now.. being sick doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for… worry. Other than ohmygosh … everything hurts…
I think I need a doctor in the house. hehe
I think that I would rather have something removed without anesthetic than hurl. Just thinking about you being sick makes me queasy.
I know it is difficult to break a habit but that’s all it is Pet. You have a worrying habit . Treat it as such and it might make it easier for you.
xoxoxo
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Thanks Georgie
A good way to look at it indeed.
I am trying. I hate being so freaking insecure.fretting is SO unattractive…. and needy..
ugh. Thanks for the advice I will have to do my best.
xoxo
I hope that you’re feeling better. What an awful way to spend a friday night
I mean being sick is awful any night of the week but espcially on Friday night 
*hugs*
And don’t stress about worrying. I don’t like to admit it but Erin-girl would tell you that I’m a worrier too. Those who love us except us for who we are, and the flaws we know we have (and espicially the flaws we don’t realize that we have).
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Gavs!~*
Acceptance is a beautiful thing. It is when you haven’t had it in such a long time that the whole worrying because you are worrying thing kicks in. You and Beauty are so fantabulous together. One day I aspire to be you my friend.
x’s and o’s
Oh man..er..woman I mean. You totally do not want to be me. Stressed out from this attempt at school again thing…unless you’re a masochist and you get your masochistim by freaking out over tests instead of the normal way. Kinkier than kinky, just the way I like it…hehe. Being totally insecure about something that maybe you have a talent for…though I’m not so arrogant as to say that I do have a talent cause really I suck. But you my phriend, you rock just as you are. Don’t change a thing for the sake of change, just evolve as time requires.
you will learn to be calmer from your master. It is hard to undo what years have done. Trust me I know! Give it time. He is good to you. I hope you feel better soon.
Having the flu absolutely sucks! Here is hoping that you get better soon!
Sounds like you have a good egg in Mr. Keep him around for a while. Sounds like he is good for you!
Flyinfox_SATX
I hope you feel better soon darling. =)
All you ladies and your nicknames for your men…